3/10/2024 0 Comments Give me a useless website“There is no opening or closing at Zombocom.” ![]() “Zombocom is a portal without a door,” it says. A circa-2002 FAQ about Zombocom, from a defunct website called, is, like Zombocom itself, of no practical use. Searches of newspaper and magazine archives on ProQuest, Google News, and LexisNexis suggest that, like Milan Kundera, Harper Lee, and Queen Elizabeth, Zblofu has never granted an interview. Perhaps his only known public appearance came at the 2012 ROFLCon III, a “biennial extravaganza of deranged internet culture,” held in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where he spoke on a panel about the ’90s internet, using his online nickname, Zblofu. The site’s creator, Josh Levine, did not respond to an interview request. ![]() The origins of Zombocom are shrouded in mystery. You literally can’t do anything at Zombocom, and that’s precisely how it sets you free. “Anything at all! The only limit is yourself!” “You can do anything at Zombocom!” says the voice. But only now, returning to the site two decades later, do I grasp Zombocom’s deeply existential wisdom. When I first visited Zombocom, in early 2000, I thought it deftly captured the era’s bland techno-exuberance and self-indulgent animated intros. “The unattainable is unknown at Zombocom!” “The infinite is possible at Zombocom!” says the voice in an accent precisely halfway between Sidney Poitier and Darth Vader. ![]() The site does nothing but display a blinking pinwheel accompanied by a deep voice confidently telling you how awesome it is. Zombocom’s superiority lies in its simplicity. The pinnacle of cyberspace, it turns out, was attained in late 1999 with the launch of a website called Zombocom. Some human endeavors peak early before a long decline: commercial airline travel, the Ramones discography, eating a large stack of pancakes.
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